Braxton
Hicks continued on and off for the next 10 days. Some days were very
uncomfortable, some were wholly unremarkable. All were emotionally
draining. I found myself very impatient and self-pitying. It felt like I had
been pregnant for 17 months (we initially learned we were expecting 17 months
before. 2 miscarriages and 17 months later, I was still pregnant!) It was hard
to find the motivation to do anything at times - all I wanted to do was hold my
baby. Nurse him. Kiss him. Be up all night with him (it would be better than
being up all night with these contractions!)
Monday,
July 14th (our 7th Anniversary) I had my 39 week
appointment. At which point, I was told, the midwives were willing to do things
to 'help labor along'. At my appointment I was maybe (if they were generous) 2
cm dilated. But the midwife said she didn't think labor was going to happen any
time super-soon. She stripped my membranes (though she said she wasn't
able to do a 'good strip'), and gave me a couple options for 'encouraging
labor' - everything from a reflexology foot massage to the good ol' Castor Oil
Milkshake.
Following
the appointment, it being our anniversary, Mon Amour and I went to the mall to
enjoy a milkshake and do a little more walking while we discussed the pros and
cons of 'encouraging' baby to come sooner rather than later.
As
impatient as I was for Triton to arrive, I felt very uncomfortable with any
kind of 'encouragement'. Even considering these things felt wrong to me.
Previously I was very much of the Baby Will Pick Their Own Birth Day Even if
it's Weeks Late, variety. (It's easy to be of that variety when both your
babies have been early, and you've had the easiest pregnancies in the
world...). So I was a little disappointed in myself for even considering any
kind of "encouragement" at 39 weeks. I am a natural child birth
momma...it would be a badge of honor to go till 42 weeks, right?!?
Prideful
reasons, aside though, I was still uncomfortable with the stronger
“encouragements”. One thing God has been teaching me through our journey through
miscarriages and then through this pregnancy is that everything happens in
God's timing and is wholly in his hands. Try as we might to get pregnant
and have a baby on our schedule, Triton Jaune was evidence that God's timing is
best. And I felt as though drinking a castor oil milkshake and essentially
telling Baby it was time to be born, would be like saying "Alright God,
you got to pick the month, I'll pick the day". For that
reason, we nixed the Castor Oil milkshake option.
That
being said, I was skeptical that the homeopathic remedies that the midwife
recommended were really going to do anything. She had said they would
help if your body was ready and would do nothing if it wasn't time. I truly figured
they'd do nothing. So why not give them a try. Then we could feel like we had something to do…but really,
we weren’t doing anything, right?
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